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fish in the sea

by King Luka

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1.
papi 02:59
running away from the people who hurt me back in the day I just wanna be a kid again I just wanted to be your best friend wishing I was gone because when I'm with you I feel so lost your little bag of powder you kept under the sink you love it so much, yeah more than me someone take me far away break my legs and change my name someone take me far away break my arms and fill my veins I want to feel how you would I want to feel how I should. running out of time with each passing day there's another line I just wanna be a kid again I just wanted to be your best friend someone take me far away break my legs and change my name someone take me far away break my arms and fill my veins I want to feel how you would I want to feel how I should.
2.
fish 02:09
driving home from my last talk with you i think that i want to die and you cant find me, you never even liked me i'm too tiny, you can't see me theres so many fishes in the sea i'm convinced they all hate me driving home from my last trip alone if i stayed here forever, you wouldn't even know ill paint my face and grow my hair you can't get me anywhere paint my face and grow my hair moments of purity are so rare theres so many fishes in the sea convinced they all hate me
3.
lizards 02:47
playing my gameboy during church service i sure hope my grandpa doesn't notice me when I was a kid listening to the sermon i played the part but I knew they were lying to me and someone once told me to believe that was before I knew how to think down by the river looking for lizards the boys wanna hurt them but I just wanna set them free and if he exists then why was he so mean to me 666 is all that I can see all of the people and all their gods which one is mine and which one is not?
4.
selfish 01:45
I stayed home today bc i want to i watched a movie without you they'll get mad at me not sorry im such a selfish gal yeah, hardly
5.
home 01:42
this is my new house and I love it so much cuz it's mine nobody can hurt me here except for myself and my fears this is my new backyard you can come over if it won't rain too hard i'll pick you up in my new car I don't really care how far because I am home and I won't go I am home and I won't go.
6.
excuses 02:15
and you were someone I used to hold with such regard you were never a man, you just tried to play the part and you tried to hide what kept you gone most of my life the razor blades, and magazines, and cards you could have dealt give me your pain, i'm who to blame, made to hold the truth. we are the same, living in shame, my life was your excuse.
7.
getting older moving to the city no more creek in my backyard and all the girls here are so pretty all the boys shout from their cars so much time i spent preparing to grow old and make $$ maybe my life has a purpose besides to start a family and i wanna feel safe at night walking all alone under the city lights dont pay attention to what they say its just part o life youll learn one day getting older my body is changing as natural as can be and all the boys are complaining about how much larger my breasts could beee and when did it become perfectly acceptable to laugh and degrade something so natural when did my body become a spectacle for you to make better with plastic and chemicals? and i wanna feel safe at night keep my door locked stay inside don't pay attention to what they say its locker room talk, you'll learn one day
8.
worms 02:00
digging up worms in my backyard so i can feed my bird all i wanna do is stare up in the sky run into the woods im ready to die all i wanna do is think about my life what am i doing here what can i do to survive i dont wanna school im sick today dont wanna play i dont wanna see your face i lost you once it was too late i just wanna run away my head hurts a lot today i just wanna stay up late wont eat all the food on my plate i have to go now your mother said so

credits

released March 16, 2017

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King Luka Atlanta, Georgia

my diary
ig: @mitaya.wav
kristawilliamson69@gmail.com

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